Begin at the beginning

Hello! You can call me Mick ... it's not exactly my real name, but close enough. I'm choosing to remain pretty much anonymous -- I'm a fairly private person -- but I do want to share my journey from a flabby 261 lbs. to a leaner, fitter, and healthier body, mind, and soul.

Let me first say that I was moved to create my own weight-loss blog by Billy, whose Lean Body Quest has been incredibly successful and wholly inspiring. I discovered his blog earlier this year, and I posted a couple messages as "Anonymous" over there to tell Billy how he really got me going on my long-overdue weight-loss program. Several months ago he suggested I start my own blog and join the F.A.T. Coalition, and now I've worked up the nerve to do so (albeit still with a nickname).

After reading Billy's blog for a couple days, I was motivated to start eating better and trying to lose weight. On March 17th I weighed 278 lbs. (the heaviest I have ever been in my life) and today, a little more than four months later, I am down to 261 as of today. I had hoped to be much slimmer by now -- I got down to 259 at the beginning of June, and have stayed in that range ever since. No excuses, however, I just have slacked off the past two months, and fortunately I haven't gone back to my old habits and gained weight, I just haven't been kicking butt like I was and losing any. That stops now -- creating this blog helps me get organized, be accountable, and hopefully join the F.A.T. team, which I hope will help motivate me on those days when I can use it!

A bit about me: I am in my mid 30's, 5'11" tall. I was a skinny, very active kid, but started putting on weight in my teens and have been overweight ever since.

This is what I look like today, at 261 lbs:




Pretty gross, huh? Right now, my goal is to get under 200 lbs., and then reassess how my body looks and feels and determine if I want to get down to 190 or 180.

My father, who was overweight most of his life, had his first heart attack in his early 40s and then died of a heart attack in his early 50s. If I stay the way I am, then chances are I will have a similar fate, and quite frankly, I don't want to die.

I am very happy with myself on the inside -- I know that I am a smart, fun, creative, good person, but I have very very serious body issues that oftentimes cause me to avoid social situations and even become close to a hermit at times. I don't want to be "the fat guy," because even though *I* feel that doesn't come close to defining who I am, when people see me on the street, or when they describe me to someone else, the words "big" or "heavyset" (if they're being charitable) or "fat" (if they're being more blunt) are the words they use, or the words that *in my mind* I feel like they probably use. As a big guy, I sweat a lot, too, and that can be really embarrassing. I feel like people judge me based on my weight, which bothers me, and beyond that I just don't like what I see in the mirror, or how I feel every day, or how my clothes fit. I *hate* clothes shopping, so I basically just live in Old Navy XL t-shirts and size 40 jeans. I *hate* seeing photos of myself or even catching my reflection in a mirror -- it's been known to make me depressed for days. I WANT THESE FEELINGS TO STOP! I WANT TO BE AS HAPPY WITH THE PERSON I AM ON THE OUTSIDE AS I AM WITH THE PERSON I AM ON THE INSIDE!!

I want to have a normal life, one where I can go anywhere and do anything with confidence, holding my head high and feeling good. And so I am re-dedicating myself tonight to continue my slimdown that I started in March.

I have a lot in my favor -- I know a ton about nutrition, and I became a vegetarian at the beginning of this year (a personal decision, both for health and ethical reasons). I love every fruit and vegetable known to man, and I'm a great cook. My biggest problem, the biggest impediment to weight loss? Portions, and laziness when it comes to exercise. My immediate goal is to watch my portions, and do as much walking every day as possible.

Anyhow, this has been a much longer introduction than I had planned on writing, but I thank you if you've been reading this far, and I look forward to getting to know the F.A.T. Coalition and for this life-changing journey on which I am about to embark fully, honestly, and with total dedication.

-Mick