Today's Weigh-In: 262 lbs.
Weight Loss So Far: 16 lbs.
Still To Go: 63 lbs.
Well, I know from reading Billy's Lean Body Quest blog that weight can fluctuate 2-4 pounds from day to day, so I'm not overly bummed about going up from 261 to 262 today. When I first started dropping weight at the end of March I kept a daily spreadsheet and had the five-day average and all of that, but as I mentioned in my last post, I started slacking at the beginning of June and didn't enter my daily weight. I had also been keeping track of my daily caloric intake over at FitDay.com quite diligently, but stopped doing that. Today I'm starting both of those up again, and by the end of this week I'll have a five-day weight average to post, so that I can more accurately track my progress.
THANK YOU so much to Billy, Sharon, Aim, and David for your nice comments and words of encouragement, and to anyone else who takes the time to read this. It means the world to me to have this kind of support, and I know it will help me in the days, weeks, and months ahead as I travel toward my goal of fitness.
One of the things that's really struck me -- something Billy's talked about and others as well -- is dealing with that "inner fat person." I wonder if I will ever really shake that, because to be honest I can't even imagine myself being slim and trim, it's virtually impossible to visualize. Right now, I kinda feel like I'm that guy that will still always look a *little* fat, or will always have a thick neck or a big butt or whatever no matter how much weight I lose. That's probably not rational thinking, but that's what I am up against, as I sort of explained in my first blog posting. Not that any of that will deter me from achieving my fitness goals, but I think that beyond the physical part of this, there will be a lot of psychological and emotional things to deal with along the way. I hope that I can overcome the "inner fat" and become truly happy with myself. I do think that once I start to see real, actual progress in the mirror that that will help tremendously.
I have to say, it was a huge thing for me to post those photos of myself, even without my face to stay anonymous. Just looking at them is depressing, and putting them out there for other people to see is scary, but I think it is an important first step to confronting what I REALLY, honestly look like physically. I look forward to the day when I can see photos of myself and be proud of how I look, and maybe even a little shocked.
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2 comments:
Welcome to the Coalition :)
The photos are very hard to as you said. I struggled with putting them out there at first too but in a sense it was my way of telling myself that I was serious about my journey and needed to seriously look the fat in the eye and know yes I am fat, and yes I need to make a change. I was like you in many ways, always staying out of pictures and never really wanting to see myself. I think this was a way for me to avoid the fact that i am fat and that I am really ashamed of my body. Anyway it takes guts to do what you did but it says something to me about what you are doing and why. I am looking forward to seeing pictures of a trimmer you in the future.
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